What's the #1 Cause of Behavior Issues?

by Sean O'shea

Okay, are we all ready for the answer? It’s just one word, but it entails so many aspects of what’s at the core of the issues between dogs and humans. 

Selfishness. 

Did that one catch you off guard? It probably did, because most folks miss this foundational piece of the puzzle. 

Selfishness in humans shows up like this: Doing what feels good for us, rather than what actually helps the dog.

-Omitting discipline because it’s uncomfortable or doesn’t have the emotional payoff we desire. 
-Spoiling because it makes you feel good
-Babying because it makes you feel good
-Letting crappy behavior slide because who wants to be the heavy - or make their dog “sad”?
-Revving the dog up at times of excitement (walks, feeding, car rides etc.) because you enjoy the sense of “joy” (actually anxiety and arousal) the dog expresses 
-Letting dogs meet on leash - because it makes you happy your dog gets to make “friends”
-Letting your dog pull and sniff and mark and bark on walks - because he’s “expressing himself and enjoying ‘his’ time” - which fills your heart 
-Allowing jumping, mouthing, and hysterical behavior around guests - because he’s “happy” to see people
-Allowing barking at windows and fences, because your dog needs to say “hi”
-Being unwilling to honestly examine your relationship and whether what you share is helping or harming (rationalizing and denial feel far better)
-When you do share “discipline” it’s half-hearted, ineffective, and quickly ignored - but it feels better than sharing a real consequence 

This list could go on and on. The main goal here is to remind folks that 99% of what we see comes directly from selfishness. I know, because I did it. I also know you can turn it around if you REALLY want to. But that’s a lot of work, and a lot of sacrificing. 

Of course, that’s what truly taking care of, and loving another is all about.